Upstream. A Mohawk Valley Blogzine.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

To Our Amish Readers.

SIGNS YOUR AMISH TEEN IS IN TROUBLE

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 5:00AM.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap!"

4. When he talks about a hoe or a weed, the only one who understands him is the fresh air kid that’s staying for the summer.

3. He says things like, “Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of butter milk."

1. He wears his straw hat backwards.

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